FunkyTonk Band {LIVE!!} @ The Mission
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FunkyTonk Band {LIVE!!} @ The Mission
February 5, 2022 @ 8:00 pm - 11:30 pm
$5
Doors@6pm
SHOW@8PM
$5 Cover
FACEBOOK {FunkyTonk Band}
Combining four of Central Missouri’s country music superstars, Funkytonk is a fresh re-visit to the best country of yesterday but scattered, smothered and covered in masterfully crafted guitar licks, tight grooves, and tasty vocals. No Aldeans, Bryans, or Florida Georgia anythings…..just quality, smokin’ country with a taste of rock and whatever else we sprinkle in….
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Ben Van Dyke – Lead Guitar/Rhythm Guitar/Concerned Looks Towards The Rhythm Section
In High School, he was once voted “most likely to succeed David Hasselhoff in Baywatch”. Instead, he scored the lead part in a live stage production entitled “Meet Me In Fullerton” which was the story of a young soon to be musical pioneer in search of his hot tub time machine….or something like that.
At any rate, the production ran for a staggering 4.5 hours and played in QuickTrip parking lots all over the Midwest. Just like David Hasselhoff, Ben is HUGE in Germany.
These days, Ben spends his time teaching his herd of Amazonian Pick Beetles to recreate the half time formations of the Mizzou Marching band. It’s truly riveting.
He’s also currently the Hot Licks Operations Manager for Funkytonk and his responsibilities include making sure Kyle remembers to walk to the A, and Neil remembers the difference between major and minor chords.
As a side note, Ben spends so much time dining at the local Mexican restaurant, the owners refer to him as The Angry Enchilada, The Hispanic Titanic, and last but not least, because of his love of their massive #4 burrito….The Mexicutioner so if you want to make a request,, approach Ben’s side of the stage with a great deal of caution.
Neil Harms – Lead Vocals and Guitar
Proud to hail from the town where the Phillips head screwdriver was invented, Neil was once known to collect dryer lint to sculpt into likenesses of his favorite guitar heroes.
Neil has spent the last few years as an over the phone therapist specializing in issues plaguing aging guitarists. His therapy practice is vastly successful mostly due to the accent he uses when he speaks to his clients as it bears an uncanny resemblance to 80’s celebrity sex therapist, Dr Ruth.
While a long term member and good steward to the local music scene, his fierce guitar prowess will often leave you speechless at a Funkytonk show however, we caution you to reconsider should you ever decide to approach him to request “Wagon Wheel”…..go on, we dare ya 
Kyle Caraway – Bass/Vocals
This sexy hunk of 5 o’clock shadow is the most introverted member of the band. Kyle has spent the last 11 years hiding in a one bedroom flat in Point Place, Wisconsin while spraying rental shoes in the local bowling alley.
Neil knew he had a bass player with a true appreciation of the classics when he found out Kyle once worked as a staffer for the Hollywood Squares TV show and was in charge of managing Rip Taylor’s moustache wax, inventorying Paul Lynde’s ascots, and maintaining Phyllis Diller’s bikini line.
Between shows, Kyle can be found at local nursing homes giving back to the community by grinding toenails for short-armed senior citizens.
Funkytonk performances will guarantee you will get to witness Kyle sweating bullets trying to keep up with the musical genius of the other members of the band while managing the responsibility of having the biggest G string in the venue and hearing the voice of his bass sensei who used to provide Kyle encouragement by saying, “I like the thing you tried to do there” (that’s for you Al)…….
On a side note, Kyle is from the town where the flathead screwdriver was invented so he and Neil knew each other over the years from competing against each other in the community screwdriver flag football tournaments.
Chris Parr – Drums and Backing Vocals
He may look like a well seasoned musician, but this suave and debonair fella recently retired from a life as the hair stylist for British double agents with the famed MI-6 secret service, left his Renault LeCar behind, and recently returned to central Missouri to reconnect with his musical roots.
At a Funkytonk show, you can look forward to Chris not only creating and holding the pocket as the anchor of Central Missouri’s fiercest new rhythm section, but he’ll also be in the parking lot of the venue collecting donated roadkill as he is the chief hat maker for Silver Dollar City’s gift shop (drumming doesn’t pay as good as fixing hair in England).
